Do you have to go?

Always the question in my heart every time he leaves on another trip. I never voice it but I feel it every time. The hardest day of his trips are usually the ones he leaves on. After a day or two with him, i don't want him to go. He goes so we can pay bills, so i do my best to show him strength as he leaves. I don't let a tear fall until he is gone and when we talk during his trips i try not to let him know the pain of separation. He does a lot better when he knows i am alright.